Midnight Mama

Recognizing and Recovering from Burnout; Motherhood edition.

What happens when you get burned out at your job?  Most people can recognize this and then take action, such as taking a vacation or a sick day, which can help you step away and get recentered. What happens when moms get burned out and can't plan a holiday away from their family, or call in sick?  The 2024 moms have more responsibilities than ever, contributing to overstimulation and burnout in more than one area of their lives.  These experiences impact how we show up for ourselves, our children, and our careers, and get mislabeled resulting in a few layers of mom guilt.  In this episode, I explore the signs and symptoms of burnout, and how to leverage supports in your life and exercise creativity to prevent and recover from burnout.  Even single moms, or moms with minimal support can put systems in place to support their mental health.  There is something for everyone in this episode.  As always, I would love to hear from you so feel free to share the episode or write a review.  If you need support and you aren't sure where to turn, I invite you to book a call with me here and talk about what that support would look like and let me show you how some of our services can be helpful for you.

I wasn't emotionally present during postpartum. Now what?

When we encounter difficult or challenging times (hello postpartum) our brains attempt to protect us, shielding us from any type of harm, emotionally or physically and it looks different for everyone.  I share my experience with emotional removal from the postpartum period, what it looked like, why I think it happened, and how it presented for me years down the road.  Whether you are a new mom, expecting mom, or seasoned, this has valid points an reassurance for YOU.  Learning to stay present through the challenges can bring rewards later down the road and leave you open for less "what if's" if you can leverage it.
Remember, nobody can tell you that you hold your baby too much, whether they are 3 weeks old or 30 years old.  They are your baby and your connection to all great things.  If you are interested in working through some of what was discussed here, then I invite you to connect with me.  
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Stay healthy and safe
Nicole

Why throwing out the Christmas Tree was a necessary choice for my postpartum recovery

You might be wondering how these two intertwine and if you tune in I promise you will learn very quickly.  I recognize that we put so much emphasis on the physical aspect of postpartum recovery without much mention of the mental health component.  It takes work, insight, and choice to be able to overcome some significant challenges that occurred throughout the postpartum period.  Sometimes you need a clean slate to build upon to recover successfully, and other times you need to do nothing so you can survive. Learning which season you are in can help determine the intervention, and sometimes it will result in you tossing your Christmas tree.  I hope you enjoy listening to this full circle postpartum recovery moment for me, and if you need some assistance in your recovery, you can always book a free consultation.  Happy Thanksgiving all.

It's beginning to look a lot like...Stress, Anxiety, and the Holiday Season. Prioritizing your mental health and protecting your peace during the Holiday Season

I'm so excited to be back after some short time away and to be as transparent as possible, life has been kicking me around a bit, mentally.  I decided to share with you what I have been doing to protect my peace and mental health during this time, and how I plan to carry that through to the holiday season.  The world around us might be a bit chaotic and feel unsafe, but I want you to know that you are always welcome here, and I am available if you need assistance now, or at any point in the future.  Be sure to follow me on IG at nicole_kumi and you can always email me at nkumi@thewholemom.com

To the Mom who lost her shit recently

Have you ever had a moment with your kids or spouse where you could feeling yourself unwinding but you cannot stop?  Yep, that was me this week, dealing with stress and sick kiddos, and eventually losing my shit on my daughter.  I experienced all of the emotions and guilt that came along with not being able to hold it together.  I share that experience with you in this episode, as well as how I bounced back from it, future expectations, and I give you permission to lose your shit once in a while so you can experience the wide array of emotions afforded to us as humans.  You are human, you will lose your shit, it is ok, and there is a lesson to be learned here.  I hope you enjoy this and find some validation knowing it is a natural and healthy part of your process

The postpartum spiral and losing control

One of the hardest parts of motherhood is the loss of control in the postpartum period.  Without the proper education and information about the realities of the postpartum period, moms are left to figure many things out on their own, often leading to a decline in their mental health.  I share my journey around losing control and how attempting to protect my mental health put me at risk for late-onset postpartum depression.  Tune in as I talk about this process and how I eventually intervened, implementing systems that would help me recover.
As always, if you need support, feel free to connect.

Getting your "pink" back postpartum.

You may have heard about flamingos losing their pink during pregnancy and the postpartum period.  It's an interesting phenomenon that many moms can relate to, once you learn how to apply it to your current situation.  Tune into this episode where I transparently share with you that I have finally gotten my pink back, four years postpartum, and what I learned about this process. Just a reminder to you, your story and journey are YOURS.  Let no one invalidate "how long" it takes for your pink to come back, or suggest it "should" be back by now.  You take your sweet time if you want to, and make sure the color suits you when it does shine through.
 
If you are in the space of finding your pink, you are not alone, and there is support.  Feel free to fill out a consultation for coaching where we can help you with this process.
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Born into Silence. One mother's story of perinatal grief, loss, strength and resilience.

Perinatal grief and loss continues to be a topic I am highlighting on my platform, and in this episode I interview Sadija A. Smiley as she courageously walks us through her journey of becoming a young mother and experiencing a stillbirth.  Her openness and vulnerability allows for a light to be shone in one of the darkest areas of maternal health, giving hope and encouragement to so many more.  Grab your tissues before tuning into this episode and please feel free to share this with someone you think could use some support.
Sadija A. Smiley is the Founder and CEO of Stillborn And Infant Loss Support (SAILS), an organization dedicated to supporting families affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, and other pregnancy losses. After the stillbirth of her daughter Ivyanna in 2003, Sadija founded SAILS in 2017 to honor Ivyanna's memory and provide compassionate care to those navigating grief. With over six years of operation and more than 600 families served, Sadija’s leadership has transformed SAILS from a basement initiative to a vital resource center. Her commitment to community building, education, and support drives SAILS’ mission to improve the mental health and well-being of bereaved families.
 
Founder/CEO and Certified Grief Recovery SpecialistIvyanna's Mom 11/13/03 - 11/13/03Phone: 410-941-9061www.bornintosilence.org

Perinatal Loss and Grief. The most difficult decision of one mother's life.

This week I began recording for a new series focusing on perinatal grief and loss.  This topic can be triggering for some people, so I caution you to check in with yourself before listening:
This week, Kate joined me to share her story about becoming pregnant and then receiving some information about her pregnancy that would ultimately have her make one of the most difficult decisions of her life.  Kate opens her heart to us and shares her incredible story about TFMR, the stigma and shame that can be associated with this, and how she has found her way through the grief, one small step at a time.
Please, keep an open mind when listening to this episode, and if you want to show some love to her, leave a review.
If you or anyone you know is going through this process, and dealing with the grief of perinatal loss, let's connect and be sure that you have the support and community that Kate talks about in this episode.
Email me:  nkumi@thewholemom.com
Postpartum support international support groups linked here

How to get everything you need without asking for it.

Effective communication is the most essential tool moms can carry in their toolbox (or purse).  Someone once told me that I steer my words like a Ferrari, and I took that compliment and ran with it.  I have learned how to get my needs met without asking, and in this episode I share the "How to" with you.  For those of you who are worrying, or have worried about losing the "masculine energy" you've so proudly created in your life; the energy that has catapulted you into high paying and highly respectable positions, well, let's say it's still there.  Once you learn to re-purpose it an leverage it, you won't be stopped.
If this spoke to you, and you are interested in working together on the development of this skill and energy, let's connect.
Nkumi@thewholemom.com