Midnight Mama

It's beginning to look a lot like...Stress, Anxiety, and the Holiday Season. Prioritizing your mental health and protecting your peace during the Holiday Season

I'm so excited to be back after some short time away and to be as transparent as possible, life has been kicking me around a bit, mentally.  I decided to share with you what I have been doing to protect my peace and mental health during this time, and how I plan to carry that through to the holiday season.  The world around us might be a bit chaotic and feel unsafe, but I want you to know that you are always welcome here, and I am available if you need assistance now, or at any point in the future.  Be sure to follow me on IG at nicole_kumi and you can always email me at nkumi@thewholemom.com

To the Mom who lost her shit recently

Have you ever had a moment with your kids or spouse where you could feeling yourself unwinding but you cannot stop?  Yep, that was me this week, dealing with stress and sick kiddos, and eventually losing my shit on my daughter.  I experienced all of the emotions and guilt that came along with not being able to hold it together.  I share that experience with you in this episode, as well as how I bounced back from it, future expectations, and I give you permission to lose your shit once in a while so you can experience the wide array of emotions afforded to us as humans.  You are human, you will lose your shit, it is ok, and there is a lesson to be learned here.  I hope you enjoy this and find some validation knowing it is a natural and healthy part of your process

The postpartum spiral and losing control

One of the hardest parts of motherhood is the loss of control in the postpartum period.  Without the proper education and information about the realities of the postpartum period, moms are left to figure many things out on their own, often leading to a decline in their mental health.  I share my journey around losing control and how attempting to protect my mental health put me at risk for late-onset postpartum depression.  Tune in as I talk about this process and how I eventually intervened, implementing systems that would help me recover.
As always, if you need support, feel free to connect.

Getting your "pink" back postpartum.

You may have heard about flamingos losing their pink during pregnancy and the postpartum period.  It's an interesting phenomenon that many moms can relate to, once you learn how to apply it to your current situation.  Tune into this episode where I transparently share with you that I have finally gotten my pink back, four years postpartum, and what I learned about this process. Just a reminder to you, your story and journey are YOURS.  Let no one invalidate "how long" it takes for your pink to come back, or suggest it "should" be back by now.  You take your sweet time if you want to, and make sure the color suits you when it does shine through.
 
If you are in the space of finding your pink, you are not alone, and there is support.  Feel free to fill out a consultation for coaching where we can help you with this process.
Consult application

Born into Silence. One mother's story of perinatal grief, loss, strength and resilience.

Perinatal grief and loss continues to be a topic I am highlighting on my platform, and in this episode I interview Sadija A. Smiley as she courageously walks us through her journey of becoming a young mother and experiencing a stillbirth.  Her openness and vulnerability allows for a light to be shone in one of the darkest areas of maternal health, giving hope and encouragement to so many more.  Grab your tissues before tuning into this episode and please feel free to share this with someone you think could use some support.
Sadija A. Smiley is the Founder and CEO of Stillborn And Infant Loss Support (SAILS), an organization dedicated to supporting families affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, and other pregnancy losses. After the stillbirth of her daughter Ivyanna in 2003, Sadija founded SAILS in 2017 to honor Ivyanna's memory and provide compassionate care to those navigating grief. With over six years of operation and more than 600 families served, Sadija’s leadership has transformed SAILS from a basement initiative to a vital resource center. Her commitment to community building, education, and support drives SAILS’ mission to improve the mental health and well-being of bereaved families.
 
Founder/CEO and Certified Grief Recovery SpecialistIvyanna's Mom 11/13/03 - 11/13/03Phone: 410-941-9061www.bornintosilence.org

Perinatal Loss and Grief. The most difficult decision of one mother's life.

This week I began recording for a new series focusing on perinatal grief and loss.  This topic can be triggering for some people, so I caution you to check in with yourself before listening:
This week, Kate joined me to share her story about becoming pregnant and then receiving some information about her pregnancy that would ultimately have her make one of the most difficult decisions of her life.  Kate opens her heart to us and shares her incredible story about TFMR, the stigma and shame that can be associated with this, and how she has found her way through the grief, one small step at a time.
Please, keep an open mind when listening to this episode, and if you want to show some love to her, leave a review.
If you or anyone you know is going through this process, and dealing with the grief of perinatal loss, let's connect and be sure that you have the support and community that Kate talks about in this episode.
Email me:  nkumi@thewholemom.com
Postpartum support international support groups linked here

How to get everything you need without asking for it.

Effective communication is the most essential tool moms can carry in their toolbox (or purse).  Someone once told me that I steer my words like a Ferrari, and I took that compliment and ran with it.  I have learned how to get my needs met without asking, and in this episode I share the "How to" with you.  For those of you who are worrying, or have worried about losing the "masculine energy" you've so proudly created in your life; the energy that has catapulted you into high paying and highly respectable positions, well, let's say it's still there.  Once you learn to re-purpose it an leverage it, you won't be stopped.
If this spoke to you, and you are interested in working together on the development of this skill and energy, let's connect.
Nkumi@thewholemom.com

Outgrowing your environment in motherhood, and finding a safe space

We put so much focus on supporting our children and their growth that we forget we are growing alongside of them, and this might mean "outgrowing" environments.  As you grow and evolve as a mother it is natural for you to feel uncomfortable in places you once enjoyed or found comfort in.  Your circle will change, and sometimes it becomes clear that you need a better, or stronger community to support this new version of you.  Like most jobs, there comes a point where a change is necessary, and sometimes motherhood can put that into perspective for us.  My question is, do you have that circle or are in you in need of a "new environment?"  If the latter is the case, then I invite you to explore my virtual community, The Nest, a monthly subscription that provides you with that environment.  I am launching a new group coaching program this summer that focuses on  Becoming Her, and would love to give you more information on this here
 
As always, if you need some assistance, don't hesitate to reach out nkumi@thewholemom.com

Exploring the Mother Wound and ways to potentially heal from it. A deep dive into this concept with Marene Burke; my mother.

As I close out the series of Birthing Her I thought it was important for me to highlight the most influential woman in my life, who also happened to have given birth to me.  I sat down with my mother to talk a bit about what her life was like, becoming a mother 40 years ago to see what has changed in the world of maternal mental health.  We got vulnerable talking about the mother wound, the one wound we don't realize we have until we become mothers, and ways to recover or triage that wound so we don't bleed on our own children.  How do you learn to become a mother if you didn't have a strong example, and what has that done for you on your own journey?
Tune it to find out.  You will not want to miss this episode, for so many reasons.  Whether or not you have the mother wound, everyone can benefit from hearing this impactful interview between to strong, healthy mamas, who come from the same bloodline.
Please, leave a comment or two letting us know if this was helpful for you.
If you believe you have the mother wound and want to work through this in a safe space, don't hesitate to connect with me @ nkumi@thewholemom.com

From the NICU to helping you with Dr. Jess Daigle, pediatrician and life coach for NICU moms.

I sat down today with board-certified pediatrician/life coach, Dr. Jessica Daigle and talked in depth about her experience  with the NICU from a provider and parent standpoint.  Dr. Jess shares her challenges navigating pregnancy loss, postpartum, and the NICU from the perspective of a mother, and what she is doing to contribute to education, awareness, and support of NICU families. 
Dr. Jessica Daigle is a board-certified pediatrician, neonatal/pediatric hospitalist, and Founder/CEO of Mom & Me MD. She is the proud mother of 2 kids both born prematurely, with 1 staying in the NICU for 5 weeks. 
She has a concierge medical practice in Atlanta, GA that provides local in-home and virtual care services to newborns (with focus on NICU babies) with education and support for their mothers/families to make the transition home easier and less overwhelming. She also offers life coaching for NICU moms to help them navigate life after the NICU and be the confident mom they want to be. 
She lives in South Atlanta with her husband and two kids. Follow her on Instagram @momandme_md