Midnight Mama

Just because you "could" doesn't mean you "should." How this mentality can lead to exhaustion and burnout.

I love feeling unstoppable, especially as a mother.  There have been times when I felt like I could do it all and thrived in that space at one point.  I could pump while I was working, send emails while I rocked my babies to sleep, and even snuck in a workout on my lunchbreak when sleeping in was more important for my health.  The same things that made me feel unstoppable also contributed to my exhaustion and negatively impacted my mental health at one point in my journey.  Today I share my experience with feeling like I "should" do things because I "could" and how leaning into that message can be detrimental to your growth as a mother.  
 
As always, if you wish to connect email me @ nkumi@thewholemom.com
www.thewholemom.com
IG nicole_kumi
 

Are your walls keeping someone out, or something in? Learning to lower my walls so that my daughter can see me clearly.

This was a tough episode to record, and ironically, I had intended to go a whole other direction.  One thing about me is that I go based on my feelings and flow, and something about this current season of struggle I am in was necessary to share for a few reasons.
I am a product of my coaching services and believe strongly in the power of speaking up and out about what is truly going on in my life to validate or encourage another mother, and more importantly, my daughter.
Tune in as I share openly about her diagnosis, our current situation, and how it has allowed us to draw strength from one another and be more powerful than ever before.
I hope she listens to this one day so she can fully understand the power of our love.
Drop me a note of inspiration in the comments if this resonates with you.

It's lonely over here. How paternal mental health is being impacted by the fourth trimester.

As we scratch the surface related to maternal mental health and the importance of adequate and accessible education and resources for moms, I can't help but think about our dads who have yet to enter the conversation.  I recognize it is one slow step at a time, and my work with moms highlights the need for MORE work with dads, creating that same space that allows them to be vulnerable and get some assistance with the postpartum process too.  Tune in as I discuss my thoughts around this and what I am personally doing to help dads that are "new here" with very little resources.  I am constantly reminded of my own husbands strength, love, patience, and resilience, that was displayed with very little support or guidance.  
 
My mission as the Founder of The Whole Mom is to provide moms with everything they need on their journey through pregnancy and beyond, and that includes services for Dads.
 
Here is a handy toolbox for Dad to get familiar with and work with mom to build off of.
Dads Toolbox

The hardest part about motherhood was the "birth", and not the one you might think.

Learning to become a mother all while BEING a mother was a wild concept for me to wrap my head around.  There was a conflict occurring internally everyday for almost two years as I was trying to figure out what was happening.  I have never been the same since I became a mom, and I am thankful for that because who I became was the right person for the job and I am glad I recognized that she needed to be let out in order to perform.  Tune in as I share my experience and some helpful tips for moms at any stage of their journey who are feeling "conflicted" and resistant to the impending changes ahead.
 
If you are interested in sharing your story and being a guest on Midnight Mama please follow this link to complete a questionnaire.  
 
If you want to download your free guide to Birthing Her, follow this link.

The real reason why moms are so tired and what to do about it.

"I'm tired" is one of the most used phrases in motherhood, and its common use tends to distract people from the real reason behind why moms are tired.  It's not motherhood or our children, it goes much deeper than that and I explore all of that in this episode as well as solutions for it.  As noted in the show, I am inviting each listener to join my new community for moms, The Nest, for just 1$ for an entire YEAR.  Follow the link below to join, or email me with any questions.
Join The Nest here
Email me with any questions.  Nkumi@thewholemom.com

Postpartum is not a diagnosis. It's a period of time

We tend to put every mother who is struggling with her transition into motherhood, into the same box and label it as "postpartum" without realizing that is incorrect.  I get down to the specifics related to the postpartum timeframe and how the appropriate language and diagnosis is crucial as it relates to supporting moms with their mental health.  Every mother goes through the "postpartum period" and not every mother will experienced perinatal mood and anxiety disorders...learn the difference so you can be helpful.
 
As always, if you are in need of more support follow this link and let's set up a free consult to talk more about that.
 
If you are a mom looking for a safe space to get some support in a larger setting I invite you to follow this link and explore my community for moms, The Nest.
If you are in need of some guidance and support understanding the process and finding your footing in motherhood follow this link to my free guides and checklists.

What happens when everything falls apart and you CHOOSE to rise.

What happens when you experience a set back or feel like everything has fallen apart?  How do you stay positive and protect your mental health?  It can be easy to fall into a depressed state choosing to isolate and allow your frustrations consume you, and I am feeling that lately.  Tune in as I share my recent setback, how I am choosing to tackle it and why it is important that you pay attention to the warning signs.  Sometimes you're exceeding the speed limit and you're not even aware; that's an issue.
 
Let's chat
 

Protecting your mental health during the ”danger zone.”

With the holiday season behind us, it can be attractive to settle into a minimalist role as it relates to your physical and mental health.  The period between January and March can be considered the "danger zone" as it relates to mental health, primarily maternal mental health.  You may have been riding the holiday wave for a while, not noticing everything that has been happening around you, and now that the dust has cleared you recognize you have some work to do.  Tune in and listen to my explanation of this "season" and some tips you can utilize to ensure you make it through the next 3 months as the healthiest version of yourself.
 
As referenced in the episode:  Free 30-day trial of The Nest, a community for EVERY MOM linked here

Must Be Nice. Why having a strong partner can get you ”mom shamed” and how to manage it

You would think that having a strong spouse/partner would be the type of flex that would get you a high five in your social circles or mom's groups.  Ironically, a lot of moms are now getting "shamed" for this and it recently happened to me.  Tune in to hear about how I managed it, how to avoid doing it (unintentionally of course), and a few other tips to take with you into the Holiday season.
 
Bonus:  I am hosting a FREE webinar in January on the power of transitions and understanding the process of behavior change.  Follow this link to register for the webinar, and receive the playback if you can't make it.  I am sharing some helpful tools for you to use when you feel like you are over yourself and need a change.  Trust me, you do NOT want to miss this.
Linked Here
If you are looking for a creative approach to taking better care of yourself search no more.  Join the Whole Mom Bingo challenge, for FREE and receive your template to follow rather than spinning your wheels trying to figure out HOW to take care of yourself.
The Whole Mom Bingo
 
Thanks for listening, and Happy Holidays!

Learning to lower the bar and how to be ok with it

If there is one thing I know for sure about moms, it's that we expect more from ourselves than anyone else does.  This is also the reason we find ourselves sick, frustrated, overwhelmed, and sometimes even angry with life and the people around us.  Tune in while I talk about the process of lowering the bar, why it is necessary, and how it will actually contribute to your growth and success much sooner.
 
If you are looking to explore more individualized support around this, fill out this form and we can set up a call.
 
Follow me on IG @ nicole_kumi or send me an email @ nkumi@thewholemom.com